No Escape
by flairina
Summary: Ryouga's lost. So what else is new? But... something's different this time...  -Oneshot-


I don't own any of the characters mentioned here.

…

Ryoga was lost.

As any person familiar with him, or even someone who had only known him in passing, could tell you, this was not unusual. Far more often than not, Ryoga was rarely even in civilization, let alone where he wanted to be. His aptitude for getting lost was, in a word, legendary.

However, something was different this time. No, it wasn't that it for once might not have been Ranma's fault. Almost everything was Ranma's fault. The difference was that, for once, he wasn't lost in the wilderness. Nor was he lost in a city.

He was lost in a room.

Now, under normal circumstances this still would not be unusual. Ryoga's best attempt at finding his way out of the Tendo's hall closet had clocked in at just under fifteen minutes (Ranma had been incredulous he'd gotten out so fast).

These, though, were VERY unusual circumstances. Somehow, Ryoga had gotten himself lost in a room that appeared to have no doors.

This, of course, led to panicking.

"HOW THE HELL DID I EVEN GET IN HERE?" Ryoga howled. Frantically, he turned around and around, fruitlessly trying to find an exit. No such luck. The walls were a flat, pale brown, with no openings to the outside in view. The ceiling and floor were much the same, the only difference being a slight crease running down their centers. The material they were made of was soft, and oddly familiar to Ryoga.

Ryoga's mind blazed through his seemingly miniscule number of options. Option number one was to simply smash through a wall. But he had already tried that. For some reason, the Bakusai Tenketsu had failed to do anything whatsoever to the walls. When Ryoga had taken the time to examine them more closely, he'd realized that the walls seemed to have no breaking points at all. Smashing his way out was out of the question.

Option number two was to wait around, and hope someone else would come along and show him how to get out. He'd discarded that idea just as quickly as it had entered his mind, almost laughing. Really, someone else happening across a room with no entrance? Yeah right. Besides, he was running low on supplies. He needed to get out now.

His third and final option was to attempt to blast his way out. True, it wasn't very different than his "smash" plan, but the Shi Shi Hokodan's effectiveness didn't depend on the object it was being used on being "from nature".

He paused at that thought. What if the reason the Bakusai Tenketsu hadn't worked was because the material was… animate? It didn't work on living creatures… what if he was INSIDE some giant animal?

Ryoga finally snapped at that thought. "I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE! SUTEBACHI BOMU!*" As he spoke the rather on-the-spot name of his newest technique, a glowing purple ball of energy formed in his hands and shot forward, blasting through the nearest wall like it wasn't even there.

Ryoga sighed in relief. The blast had formed a roughly two foot diameter hole in the wall, and he could see a yard outside. Funny, it looked a lot like the Tendo's yard.

He slumped against the wall in relief… and fell flat on his back as the wall tore and fell outwards under his weight. Ryoga blinked, staring up at the sky. As he backed out of the structure, realization slowly dawned.

"Wait a minute…"

…

"So, how long was that?"

"35 minutes, 21 seconds."

"Wow, he got out awful fast."

"Be nice! You've proved your point, alright!"

Ryoga stumbled into view, seething with rage. "**RANMA!** HOW DARE YOU HUMILIATE ME LIKE THIS!"

Ranma smirked. "Sorry P-Chan, can't take credit for this one. Blame her." He pointed at Nabiki, who was holding a stopwatch. Turning towards her, a quizzical look appeared on Ranma's face. "Say, where'd you get that thing anyways?"

Nabiki's smirk mirrored Ranma's earlier one. "I must admit it was tough to find one this big, but it was worth it, I think. Especially since Akane now owes me double what I paid for it."

Akane, who was currently sitting next to Nabiki, flushed red with embarrassment. "Nabiki, I can't-"

Nabiki cut Akane off. "Oh calm down Akane, it didn't cost much."

Ranma turned to Akane. "See what I mean Akane? He really couldn't do it."

"Okay already!" Akane yelled. "I GET IT, ALRIGHT?"

"STOP IGNORING ME! RANMA, PREPARE TO DIE!" Ryoga screamed, launching himself at Ranma.

And so the two fighters were joined in the fight they'd fought countless times before. Nabiki sat and watched, and Akane sat and fumed.

In the middle of the yard sat an enormous, partly ripped cardboard box.

…

*Directly translates to "Desperation Bomb". I'm pretty sure almost everyone who makes a Ranma fanfic with a new move in it and isn't Japanese does something like this, so I did the same.

Yeah, random idea I had to write down.

Obviously inspired by the saying "He couldn't find/fight his way out of a paper bag/cardboard box." A paper bag didn't work too well here, so I had to use the box. Don't ask where Nabiki got that, for all I know it could've come from ACME.

This probably came about because Ranma wanted to show Akane that he isn't as great as she makes him out to be (frankly, "Stop picking on poor Ryoga" gets old). Since Akane tends to be oblivious to anything unless it is explicitly pointed out to her (Ryoga's strength and curse are two prime examples), my guess is she doesn't actually even know about his eternally lost status. She does seem to think that when he sends a letter claiming he's in Hokkaido, but remarks on the cold weather, that he actually got where he was trying to go. (Can't remember which episode that was…)

I guess Ranma wanted to show that he isn't without his share of flaws. So he asked Nabiki how he might do that (unlikely, but not impossible to imagine), and then… this.

Frankly, I don't believe Ryoga's direction sense is as bad as people make it out to be. Not to the extent that he ends up on other continents unintentionally, at least. Everything else I can agree with.

Hope you liked it!


End file.
